Cold Creek Manor (2004)
Drama | Mystery | Thriller

Have you ever wondered what happened in your home before you lived there?

Cold Creek Manor is the heart-pounding thriller that will keep you sitting on the edge of your seat in tension-filled suspense. Wanting to escape city life for the saner, safer countryside, New Yorkers Cooper Tilson (Dennis Quaid), his wife Leah (Golden Globe winner Sharon Stone) and their two children move into a dilatpidated old mansion still filled with the possessions of the previous family. Turning it into their dream house soon becomes a living nightmare when the previous owner (Stephen Dorff) shows up, and a series of terrifying incidents lead them on a spine-tingling search for clues to the estate's dark and lurid past.

User Comment: *** This review may contain spoilers *** Poseidon-3 from Cincinnati, OH, 21 September 2004 • Many audience members of this thriller were disappointed (mostly thanks to the misleading trailer for the film) because it lacked the supernatural element they thought would be present. They needn't have complained. The film is complete science fiction because not one character in the entire thing remotely behaves like a human being! Quaid and Stone play an NYC couple with high-end careers and two mouthy, spoiled kids who, after one of the children is nearly creamed by an SUV, decide to pack up and move to the country. They find a huge, dilapidated house that is exceedingly reasonable in price (this part of the movie has been done over and over in the cinema from "Burnt Offerings" to "The Watcher in the Woods" et al.) Before they have completely unloaded all the debris from the previous owner (who was foreclosed upon during a jail sentence for manslaughter), the owner (Dorff) shows up and begins to encroach on the desired peacefulness of the family. Quaid hires him to refurbish the swimming pool and before long, Dorff has decided to do almost anything to rid the house of the new owners. The rest of the film deals with the battle of wills between Quaid and his family and Dorff while Quaid seeks to find out why Dorff is so bent on driving them out. Even if Dorff got the family to leave, the property would still not be his legally and he is clearly in no position to buy it back, so even the basic premise of the story lacks solidity. That's the least of the problems, though. Throughout the film, everyone in it acts like a complete idiot. Quaid (in a surprisingly emasculated role, not that that's entirely a bad thing) makes so many stupid decisions at every turn. He does appear handsome and tan in the film, but his character is pretty dim. Stone overacts horrendously. Noted for her cool, chilly roles in films like "Sliver", "Intersection" and "Basic Instinct", here she is a hopelessly edgy bundle of nerves who squeals and screams every time anything unexpected happens like someone coming to the door or coming out of the water and having someone at the edge of the pool! This is apparently a lame attempt to have some "frightening" clips to stick in the trailer so that people wouldn't know that the film is actually a lengthy struggle between a family and a bum and not a haunted house chiller.

Dorff does succeed with the impossible. He creates a character who is unbalanced and threatening and vulgar, yet also sexy and even sympathetic to a point. His is the most interesting work in the film, though his character is pitifully underdeveloped. Other cast members include a well-cast Lewis as a sleazy, boozy tramp, Eskelson as the planet's most useless Sheriff and Plummer, who steals scenes lying down and nearly comatose, as Dorff's craggy, cruel father. Without question, one of the fall-down funniest scenes in the film is meant to be one of the scariest. Ridiculously, each member of the household comes into contact simultaneously with a different terrifying snake (at the precise same time!) They then proceed to bounce through the house like pinballs, screaming at everything and nothing and over emoting to the point of true hilarity as they encounter snake after snake. This scene alone guarantees the film a spot in bad movie heaven. Many other senseless and unintentionally funny moments happen during the "scary" parts. Another horrible aspect of the film is the annoying and inappropriate musical score which, amazingly, was written by the director! He undermines his own film's suspense and tension with such dreadfully bad (and badly timed) music cues. The film is unbelievably illogical and bad in more ways than there is time to detail, but it is watchable, especially if one is in the mood to laugh rather than cower.

Summary: Cold Creaky Manor.

[CSW] -1- I have never seen such great actors wasted on such a lousy story presentation as this one was. I don't know if it was the writing or the directing because nobody seemed to behave or act like any normal person would and it didn't hold the type of suspense that a thriller would nor did it slowly unfold a believable mystery that would hold your attention and leave you surprised at the end. It almost defies identifying why it was so empty considering that it had such great talent it couldn't get t least a -2- rating. I did assume from the trailer that there would be a supernatural element in this film and there was not even a hint of one. So I say skip this one.
No D-Box.

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