The (very abbreviated) story:

Maybe you thought this was a real movie that actually had something to do with the real Lord of the Rings story, maybe you didn't. Nonetheless you had to go and click on something that you knew didn't make any sense to you. Always curious and explorative you have arrived at a place that you had no business going. You knew that you weren't supposed to be here the moment you saw the picture, but did you quickly close this page?.. Did you click on the little x-box in the upper right hand corner of this page? Did you quickly cover your eyes and only peek out enough to hit the back button?... the home button?... the close button?... nooooooooo!... you decided to stay and read the story. Well even though this story is none of your business, I’ll at least get you started so that you can begin to get a feel for the main character. I did not say you get to feel the main characters! I said you should get a feel of, I mean for, the main characters. Oh you know what I mean. Anyway here goes. It was a dark and seductive night with a breeze that smelled almost succulent from the gentle waft of perfume that seemed to float over the warm bodies of... ok... OK!   Get you mind out of the gutter, this is a story of Elves and Pixies not Ogres and Trolls. Never mind, I’ve lost all interest in trying to tell you about the story, so go home. Go home! Good bye! So long! Get out of here! Leave! Adios! Chow! Exit! Quit! Oh never mind... forgetaboutit... go to sleep... and... as they used to say on Rowan and Martin's Laugh-in... "Say goodnight Dick."