Who is Jack Schitt?   Well, the lineage has finally been uncovered.

Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says,
"You don't know Jack Schitt".

Now you can intelligently handle the situation.

Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt.

Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack.

In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt, and the deeply religious couple produced six children:

Holie Schitt

Fulla Schitt

Giva Schitt

Bull Schitt

and the twins: Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt

Against her parents' objections, Deap Schitt married Dumb Schitt a high school dropout. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced.

Noe Schitt later remarried Ted Sherlock and, because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. So she hyphenated her last name and became known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock.

Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt and they produced a son of nervous disposition: Chicken Schitt.

Two other of the other 6 children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens wedding.

The three Schitt-Happens children were:

Dawg

Byrd

and Hoarse

Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.

So now when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt," you can correct him or her.

So now you know....